Borderland
by Trivette Lover Heather
Summary: Individual Series of Tags to the Season Seven Episode, Borderland.
1. No Matter What

_**Abby: **...That you'll love me, no matter what?_

* * *

"You know I will."

She froze, hearing the crack in his voice, almost as if he wanted to cry. She wanted to shut her eyes again, and make it all go away. First, Gibbs is a murderer, now she was going to see him cry? It was just too much.

"I hate this…I hate all of it…" She started to pace again. "And I hate whoever is out to get you too…"

He set down his tools and watched her movements.

"It's that Miss Hart isn't it? I never liked her…ever. Not even for one second…"

"Abby…"

"Don't Abby, me right now, Gibbs…this is your whole life here….this is _my _whole life…"

"_Your_ whole life?"

"Well yeah, without you in it…it's not whole anymore…"

Gibbs stepped in front of her and placed both hands on her shoulders. "Whatever happens. Not your fault."

"How can you say that? Of course it's my fault…I'm gonna turn you in…"

"You didn't shoot him Abs."

"I almost wish I would have."

Gibbs eyes shifted. "Abby…"

"Then I wouldn't have to put the one person I love most in the whole wide world, away in prison…and not just any prison, a Mexican prison…Gibbs I wouldn't even be able to come visit you every day…"

"I'm not there yet Abs."

"No…but I don't know how to see it any other way…you always taught me to do the right thing…to never ever compromise the person I was…I want so badly for this all to go away."

It was then he pulled her into a firm embrace. They lingered there for a few minutes before she eased away.

"I can't do this Gibbs."

"You have to."

"I don't have to do anything…I can tamper, I can make it inadmissible, I can put it in my purse and disappear to some far off island in the Bahamas for the rest of my life…"

Gibbs didn't smile. "You don't get to risk anything for me. Understand?"

"But you would risk it for me…or Tony, or McGee or…"

"You do _not _get to risk anything." He repeated for emphasis. "Now go home, get some sleep."

"Sleep? Sleep? How am I supposed to sleep when all I can think about is you pulling that trigger?"

Gibbs swallowed hard. "You'll find a way."

She shook her head slowly. "Gibbs…just tell me what to do. And I'll do it."

"_Trust _me Abs."

She stared into his eyes for a few more seconds before nodding towards him. "I love you, you know that?"

"I know."

"And_ you_ love me, which is why you're gonna let me spend the night right?"

He almost smiled before leading her up the stairs, his mind reeling over what was ahead… not only for himself, but for her.


	2. Post Closing I

Post Closing

* * *

It's been said that the perfect picture of love is sacrifice. An entire faith is based on the sacrifice of a man who loved the world enough to give his life. No one can argue that actions will always speak greater than words. And Gibbs is the epitome of that. He doesn't offer poems, or eloquent speeches to express his love. He protects his team with everything he has, his wisdom, his instruction and above all his presence. But today, something he thought he'd buried was threatening that presence. The question now, was whether or not he could do anything to keep from destroying it. He had a choice to make. But if he was honest, he never really had a choice when it came to her.

"Truth always comes out Abs, you know that."

"But…you're not a murderer."

"Evidence doesn't lie."

"No…but people do. So lie to me Gibbs…tell me it wasn't you."

"I can't do that."

The tears resting in her eyes finally broke free and she stepped towards him. "You know what this means right? It's mean I have to make a choice that could take you out of my life forever…and I can't live like that…"

"You did it before."

"But _you _chose to leave before…this time I'm the one punching your ticket."

"You don't have a choice."

"Of course I do…there's always a choice Gibbs."

He shook his head. "Not when it comes to this…no one gets to sacrifice them self for me…"

"Kate did…Director Sheppard…"

"Don't." Gibbs stopped her.

"This isn't fair…"

He looked directly into her eyes. "I killed him Abby…and I would do it again."

"Gibbs…" she began, but couldn't form anything else.

"Go," he gestured towards the stairs. "Do what you need to do."

She stood still. "I don't want to lose you."

"I'm already lost Abs…"

She watched him turn back to his work and slowly but surely made her way up the stairs. She stopped at the top and caught one last expression from him before she left. And in a moment, he assured her that love was more than sacrifice, it was everything.


	3. Post Closing II

"I don't know anything."

Ducky stopped dead in his tracks that next morning, entering Abby's lab to wish her good morning. "Good morning to you too, my dear."

She cringed. "Sorry Ducky…good morning. Guess I'm just a little on edge…after what happened in Mexico and everything."

"Yes, I hear Timothy was willing to sacrifice himself for the greater good…I would imagine that would have been terrifying for you."

She felt a twinge of guilt, not really focusing on what McGee had been willing to do. Her mind was elsewhere. "Yeah, it was pretty heroic of him huh?"

"Quite." He eyed her curiously. "Did you sleep well last night?"

"That obvious?"

"You are home safe and sound now Abigail…no need to worry."

She folded her hands together anxiously. "I almost wish I was back in Mexico…"

Ducky was sure he misheard her. "I'm sorry?"

"Nothing…I'm just tired." She turned back to her computer and started punching nothing particular into her keyboard.

Ducky approached and placed his hands over hers to stop the movements. "What is troubling you?"

One look into his eyes, and she wanted to burst into tears right then and there. But she resisted. "I cant talk about it….I want to…more than anything….it's killing me inside, but I just cant…" She took in a deep breath. "Gosh I hate this."

"It has to do with Jethro doesn't it?"

"Did he tell you? Please tell me he told you…then I can tell you…because if he told you, that means it's okay for me to tell you…and I really want to tell you…"

"He hasn't told me…but nothing makes you lose sleep and behave like this outside of Gibbs…"

"That's not true," she tried to plead her case. "I didn't sleep when Tony was being framed for murder, or when he was stuck in that sewer, or when McGee was stuck in that prison, or when you got stabbed…or when Kate…" She stopped herself short. "It's a miracle I'm not locked up in a padded room isn't it?"

"It's no sin to care Abigail…just be sure to realize what is in your control and what is not."

"Tell me about it."

Ducky sighed outwardly, his hands still over hers. "Does this have anything to do with the cold case you were sent to investigate?"

She remained silent.

"Does Gibbs know the effect it is having on you?"

"Does he ever."

"Perhaps I should speak with him?" He suggested.

"No!" She almost shouted, before softening her next words. "We both know that if Gibbs wanted to talk to you about it, he would…so maybe you should wait."

"Wait till what my dear? Till you collapse from lack of sleep?"

"I'm a big girl Ducky…I can handle this. I'm just a little shaken up okay? Please let me handle this on my own."

He admired her response. "I will do as you ask, but should you need me…"

"I know where to find you." She embraced him gently and managed a smile. "Thanks Ducky."

"I certainly hope the next good morning I come down to give will be a cheerful one."

She watched him leave and whispered a quiet response to no one but herself. "Probably not for a long time…."


	4. I'm Much More Valuable

"Heard you played hero in Mexico Probie?" Tony sat on the edge of his partner's desk, not long after their arrival. "How'd it feel?"

"I wasn't playing a role in a movie Tony…"

"Right, right." He disregarded his response. "But really, how'd it feel?"

"Why? Not like you haven't been a hero before."

Tony examined him. "What's up the Gibbs like redirect? Just answer the question…"

Tim shrugged it off. "It was no big deal…little scary. But I did what any of us would have done."

"Oh precious McGee, always so modest. Just admit it; you felt pretty proud of yourself didn't ya?"

"They were lives at stake Tony…I didn't have time to feel anything."

"So you're saying you felt nothing?"

"You want to hear me say I was scared? Then yes, I was scared. Happy?"

He shook his head. "Fear is normal McGee, it's what you do with it that matters…" he patted him on the shoulder. "And you used it by sacrificing yourself…takes a lot of guts. Guess my Probie is growing up." He sniffled sarcastically. "And to think, just yesterday you were pulling alien masks out of a corn field."

"Very funny, and to think….I thought you were actually being serious."

Tony felt a twinge of guilt. "Hey man, I was being serious. You should be proud of yourself."

"Abby didn't seem to think so."

"Our Abby?"

"It's not as if Gibbs did it."

"Ah, I see…" Tony nodded slowly. "You didn't get the reaction you were hoping for huh? Well you have to realize she worships the ground he walks on…we will always play second fiddle to him…" He stood up. "Surprised you're not used to that by now."

"Are you?"

"You're asking the guy who worships _next _to her on the ground," he moved towards his desk. "Don't let it bother ya Probie…you're a hero remember?"

McGee didn't respond, and only stared at the desk across from him. Realizing in that moment, why he may never be good enough for her.

There was only one Gibbs.

And he wasn't it.


End file.
